Elevators and etiquette

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Love ‘em or hate ‘em, they are an inescapable part of daily life in Manhattan, every single day. Going to work takes two; out of your apartment building and into an office. Lunch means another two trips, and going home another two so that’s six elevator rides in one day. Thanks goodness for Mr. Otis. There is also another elevator company, by name of Shindler, which we like to call Schindlers Lift.

Unfortunately, however, many riders are ignorant of the proper etiquette to be observed in this simplest of tasks, so here’s my Top 10.

When the door opens, walk briskly in – do not amble while continuing to text

If you have kids, get them inside the car pronto, they may be adorable but they’re your kids and I really couldn’t give a damn

Do not wave your arms around, that’s right lady, your left arm is the reason the door won’t close

If you’re younger than me, I may allow you to exit first, but do not presume

If you’re very young and have an attitude, I reserve the right to trip you up on exit

Sticking your arm in the gap to hold the elevator is selfish. What, you couldn’t wait two minutes for the next one? Especially when you live on the second floor

If you do live on the 2nd floor, take the stairs!

The elevator is not a phone booth, so no F-bombs please!

Keep your breakfast bouquet to yourself, and

At the other end, do not cut the cheese in a crowded elevator, or I will track you down like a rabid dog !

Related articles

• Hold That Door, Please! Observations on Elevator Etiquette (scientificamerican.com)